Well, well, if it isn't golf bag.

I'm really trying to find my niche in blogging, but maybe it's just not working out for me like I'd hoped. I'm already failing this experiment horribly and sometimes I just don't want to be social, damn it!
Sometimes I just hate people and I hate how they post pictures of themselves on FB like they're the shit, and I hate how they play so nonchalant like "Hey stranger, where have you been?" "Ummm I've been here, idiot, you just got a new boyfriend whom you let rule your life and forgot to hang out with me, and by the way, your boyfriend is more in love with himself than with you.. but then again, that's probably why you like him - because you like being the bitch in the relationship, which reminds me, I don't hang out with bitches, bitch. Buh bye." Yeah, it's one of those days and because of one stupid person who for whatever reason I let get to me this bad, I couldn't socialize today! You ruined my experiement, idiot!

Sigh... it's out. My secret is out that I hate people and I can't stand people when they are on FB. The nasty me comes out and the stupid them gets the attention they want. And still, I want attention somehow...

I think I only really get attention from my boyfriend. Even my parents forget about me sometimes because they are so caught up in their own worlds. My dad just broke up with his girlfriend and though I called him to talk about some important graduation stuff, he just went on and on about her. Hey, at least we talk, I guess. See, I'm trying to see the good in things! BUT sometimes, it just helps to vent and be a whiny, nagging, brat! Today is definetely one of those days -- and it probably has to do with graduation being right around the corner and me wanting to finish all this shit and put it behind me.
I want to do well in poetry - I want to be seen as an AMAZING poet. I want to just get my 3 short stories, 2 essays, and final research paper over with. I I want to make this damn movie already for my ethnography class and have a little fun in my last semester. I want to go swimming! And I want to go to Hawaii. And I want to stop pulling my hair out when I read. And I want to read for pleasure!And I want to just graduate and have my whole family not just stand around awkwardly and small talk with each other because my NEW stepdad will be there and my dad's family decided they hate my mom for that. Bleh. AND I want to be pretty!!!! Not just cute - I want to be a girl that stops traffic with her rockin bod and confidence because confidence = sexy. Too bad I lack in confidence. Too bad I also lack vanity - too bad I lack money or skills to dress myself nicely. Too bad, so sad, pity party for ME!
YESSSSSSSSSSSS!

It's definetely one of those days where I'm just angry at the world. Don't judge. Just let me be.